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virgilio pizani

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Fast food has become a normal part of everyday life …

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2 Lessons
5 hours
All Levels
What you'll learn
During revision I focused on improving the organization and clarity of my argument instead of making only grammar corrections. I rewrote the introduction, so it moves more smoothly from background information to the thesis, and I shortened several long sentences to make the paper easier to read. I also reviewed how I introduced and explained evidence from my sources so that each quotation or paraphrase better supports my claim.
I addressed my instructor's feedback by adding an URL and access information to the Gale source in the Works Cited page and tightening the introduction. I kept the discussion of Rosenheck's systematic review and Lane et al.'s meta-analysis because those sources provide the strongest evidence in the essay.
During revision I realized that my argument is strongest when I explain why conclusions drawn from multiple studies are more convincing than findings from a single study. If I had more time, I would strengthen transitions between body paragraphs and include another scholarly source about healthcare costs.
AI Use Statement: I used ChatGPT to identify revision opportunities, improve sentence clarity, and review MLA formatting. I verified the revisions against my research sources before finalizing the paper.